


Talking to the Moon

by Thatrandomidiot182



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:07:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27059989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatrandomidiot182/pseuds/Thatrandomidiot182
Summary: The moon shines brighter now that you're gone...
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60





	Talking to the Moon

I was in the middle of reading I Know the Stars are Lighting Your Path by [everythingOes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everything0es/pseuds/everything0es) when [Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars](https://youtu.be/fXw0jcYbqdo) came on and… This happened so :)

Sorry if it's kinda rushed, It's 3:10 am and I wanted to write this before I lost motivation. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

2:55 am, January 16th,  
Oh god, what had he done? All he wanted was some Pocky.  
It was just supposed to be a quick trip to the corner store. They were gonna be back before his parents even knew they had snuck out. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. This wasn’t supposed to happen! How could he have known? How would he have known that this night would be engraved in his mind forever?

2:55 am, January 16th,  
Yamaguchi Tadashi knew. He knew that this day would forever plague his thoughts, constantly cloud his mind, and never let him have a moment of peace. Rightfully so, seeing as

On January 16th, at 2:55 am,  
His entire world was taken away from him.

On January 16th, at 2:55 am,  
The moon returned to the sky.

On January 16th, at 2:55 am,  
Tsukishima Kei was pronounced dead. The only casualty of a hit-and-run incident in the more rural area of Miyagi prefecture.

Why couldn’t he just wait till they walked to school the next day?

Why didn’t he listen to Tsukki?

Why was it so _dark_ that night?

Why didn’t the driver just _stop_?

Tadashi heaved as his tears never ceased. He could feel a hand on his back, rubbing, what he assumed to be, soothing patterns as someone spoke quietly in his ear. Blurred words melting into blurred thoughts, and before he knew it, blurred thoughts turned into no thoughts. Blurred words turned into white noise and it was only now that he realized how labored his breathing was…  
How long had he been breathing like that? _Oh god_ , why couldn’t he _breathe_?

  
That didn’t matter right now though, what mattered was that _he died_. His best friend was gone. _Forever_. All because he wanted _Matcha Pocky_.  
As the 16-year-old sat on the cold flooring of the hospital, he couldn’t help but ignore the pain searing through his chest. Ignore all the noises fading into nothing. Ignore the sudden darkness creeping into his vision. As he sat there, fading into the black he could only think of one thing.  
Is this what Tsukki felt like?

  
Is this how his best friend felt when he was lying on the cold granite? Blindly staring up at the sky as his blood spread out around him like a snow angel?

  
No, he thought, it probably hurt a lot more.  
With that, he succumbed to the empty.

  
**Empty...**

  
Yeah, that’s how it feels…

* * *

January 21st,  
That was the day he woke up. When he first opened his eyes, he panicked. He remembers thinking, Where am I? This isn’t my room, where’s Tsukki? Wasn’t he sleeping over? Then the doctors came in, and he got slapped with reality once more.

  
 _He’s_ … dead?

  
Even after five days, Tadashi’s brain couldn’t process the fact. He couldn’t, no, he wouldn’t believe that Tsukki would no longer show up in his doorway at the ass-crack of dawn, nagging about how late they are, only to hold the two of them back just a little longer to eat one of Tadashi’s cherry pop-tarts. That Tsukki would never reward him with a lime dum-dum after he got an A- on his English quiz they both studied all weekend for. He refused to believe that he’d never be able to run his hands through those blonde curls again, that he’d never see Tsukki’s annoyed face when he stole his glasses to gain his attention. He didn’t want to acknowledge that he’d never get to see that little smile again, or hear that high pitched chuckle that he called his laugh, or… His thoughts paused, giving his tears a moment to catch up and fall as he realized he’ll never get to tell Kei just how much he loved him. How he wanted to be so much more than friends, how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, and how that kiss was more than just a dare to him.

A few minutes later his parents come in and let him know that the doctors believe the trauma from the crash had resulted in a panic attack, which then led to him fainting in the middle of the hallway. He doesn’t remember ever properly responding to them, only nodding along to their words. He doesn’t remember doing much that day. The hospital had kept him overnight to make sure everything was okay, and he was thankful for that honestly. At least he didn’t have to deal with his parents’ worried glances every five seconds, and he didn’t have to deal with the pitying glances he knew the rest of the Tsukishima family were garnering these days. No, that night he was just a boy in the hospital. A boy who didn’t know what else to do but sit and stare at the moon.

* * *

January 30th,  
Tadashi didn’t understand. He thought grief was supposed to be painful. He thought the death of a loved one was supposed to be overwhelmingly tragic. He thought he was gonna scream, cry, break down like all those people in movies did, but he didn’t. He didn’t become a dysfunctional mess, he didn’t completely shut down, no. He… didn’t really do much of anything. In the days following his release from the hospital and the days leading up to his best friends’ funeral, Yamaguchi Tadashi functioned like a completely normal human being. He would wake up, take a show, get dressed, and walk to school like he always did, the only exception being that he got to sleep in later… and of course that he walked alone now. His peers at school gave him odd looks and friends were concerned… To be honest, so was he. _What was wrong with him?_ He killed his best friend and he’s walking around as though nothing happened? Why wasn’t he like everyone else? Why couldn’t he scream? Why couldn’t he cry? Why couldn’t he stay in bed and be sad all day like Akiteru?

It wasn’t until he stood in front of his casket, staring down at those familiar glasses did he finally feel something. It took Kuroo and Bokuto walking up to him, teary-eyed and open-armed to break down his walls, walls he didn’t even know he had. That day was the first day in nearly an entire week, that he shed tears for Tsukki. The ceremony continued, with Tadashi crying until he felt numb, but when the casket was being lowered, and dirt was being thrown on top, he remembered something. Something that was said to him a long time ago. Something that sparked a bit of hope inside him. Hope that it gets better, that he can heal.

That night was one of the worst and best nights of his life. He spent the car ride home crying some more, before locking himself in his room, refusing dinner and reminiscing over old photos he had stashed away. He spent a few hours laughing and crying over the pieces of paper, before spending another few hours absentmindedly starring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck onto the middle of his wall.

He smiled, remembering when he first put them up. They had been a birthday gift from Tsukki, about four or five years ago when he was still scared of the dark. It was during one of the first sleepovers they had when Tsukki berated him for never opening them. He remembers getting super flustered and exclaiming that he was waiting for his parents to help them. Tsukki responded with something along the lines of, Why wait when you can do it yourself? And proceeded to slap the very first star smack dab in the middle of the wall right next to the bed. Tadashi soon followed suit and the next thing they knew, all the stars had been plastered to the wall. He laughs, reminding himself that the only reason they were stuck to the wall is that the two were too short to reach the roof so they had improvised.

He teared up once more, thinking of all the things they did as kids and wishing he could go back to those days. He pulled out his phone, aching for some form of comfort, and scrolled to Tsukishima’s contact. He ignored the hundreds of e-mails, text messages, and missed calls from his teammates and instead scrolled through the texts between him and his love…

He paused… His love… No, he had no right to call Kei his after what he did. Shaking his thoughts away, he stopped scrolling as a specific message caught his eye.

_Sent at 3:27 pm, Dec. 10th_

**[Tsukki]:**  
Yamaguchi, calm down, I barely got off the train

 **:[Tadashi]**  
I know, but I already miss you!

Who am I supposed to tell my nightmares to? 😟

Who’s gonna make fun of me for being scared of the thing in my closet? 🥺

 **[Tsukki]:**  
I swear you’re a child… 🙄

If it gets that bad and you really need to talk, then talk to the moon

 **:[Tadashi]**  
The moon??

 **[Tsukki]:**  
Yeah, every night I look at the moon, it’s comforting

So, if you need to talk about your nightmares, talk to the moon

I’ll be listening

 **:[Tadashi]**  
Wait, is that a play on your name? Lol

 **[Tsukki]:**  
Shut up...

 **:[Tadashi]**  
Gomen Tsukki! 🙏

But really, that’s so sweet 🥺

 **[Tsukki]:**  
Whatever…

Just know that I’m always around when you need me okay?

Even if I have to be the moon…

 **:[Tadashi]**  
Promise?

 **[Tsukki]:**  
Promise.

_Read: Dec. 10th, 3:30 pm_

Tadashi wiped his tears as he read the last message, looking over to his window, which was still left open from that horrible night. Standing up, he took small shaky steps to reach it before leaning against the ledge and taking Tsukki’s advice. He looked up. Once he looked up, he couldn’t stop the tears that began to fall faster than ever. With those tears, came words. Sentence upon sentence floated from his mouth like the constellations floated across the sky. Once he began he couldn’t stop, he made sure to tell Tsukki everything. He told him how much he regretted ever leaving the house, how sorry he was that he didn’t listen. He described his funeral, laughing at the faces Kei would’ve made had he been there. He talked until he couldn’t anymore until his throat was raw and his mouth was dry and his voice was scratchy and even then… He had one more thing to say, but it couldn’t just be said… So he shouted. He screamed how much he loved Tsukishima Kei, he screamed every word he didn’t dare to say until it was too late, and in the end, he was left smiling. A full, bared teeth, ear-to-ear, face-splitting grin, filled with euphoric melancholy.

Every night from then on, Yamaguchi Tadashi would look up at the moon and fill him in on his day. Some days he would scream, some he would cry, sometimes he wouldn’t even talk at all, just stare up at the moon. He could care less if his neighbors thought he was crazy, he’d ignore his parents' worried scolding and the towns’ gossips. Soon he became the talk of the town, but he didn’t care, as long as he had the moon.

And it might’ve just been him, but he swears, that ever since 2:55 am, on January 16th, the moon shone brighter than before.


End file.
